Being humble, polite and being Human always pays in the long run. This is not some preachy sermon but the crux of my 49 years on this earth.
Whether in personal or professional lives, one should erase false barriers of designations, social status and relate to human beings as humans.
In professional life seniority, power of position or being the client may give you, momentarily, a false position of strength but it does not hold you good in the long run.
Similarly in personal life, however rich you may be or how strong your family is or you may be holding the enviable status of son-in-law; all this works for temporary ego massaging but does not ensure sustainability of relationships.
A strong bond is build with friends, family and business associates only when you become a part of their system and relate to them on their level.
I abhor the term ‘Networking’ – I think it is negative and a term for ‘relationships with terms and conditions’.
For me relationships built without any motive or without anticipating any benefit is of lasting nature.
It is commonly seen that we worship the chair more than the person sitting on the chair. People immediately remove names from their lists as soon as the ‘chair person’ is transferred or removed. Just try to remain in touch with such a person all through and mark my words-he will never forget you once he returns to his ‘chair’.
My pre-requisites for working towards a durable relationship are very simple and basic:
- One should go the extra mile in getting and then remembering all the important dates of the person… b’days, anniversaries etc.
- We should be part of their celebrations but definitely give them support in their moments of sorrow.
- Be honest and transparent in the relationship.
These may appear to be very easy-to-do methods but are very time consuming and taxing. You have to work hard consistently to achieve good results.
I have maintained such relationships with a select band from my school (32 years), first job (27 years), family members (30 years) and I have received the same level of reciprocation, if not more.
The first boss who took my job interview, the person who gave name to my company, the relatives who are concerned about my parents welfare… or any other person who has supported me in my 49 years – they all are part of my inner circle. I will bend backwards to see smiles on their faces, will never forget them.
Having crossed 49, today I am a satisfied person. The time I have invested in developing my relationships has only given me happiness… barring the case of a few individuals who had nothing at all in common with me.
In personal life I have extremely good relationship with my relatives from age 8 to 80… to the point that the in-laws talk more with me than my wife.
I am thrilled to be part of FB and BBM group of my son’s friends where I exchange jokes apart from playing Sunday cricket. I know more about them than their parents and they keep me abreast with youth lingo and trends (so important for a Marketing person).
In my professional life I am in touch with most of my bosses (most of them now retired), wish them on b’days, festivals and enquire about their well being. Many people who have seen highs and lows in their careers can vouch for the fact that once associated, my relationship with them stays the same.
Such relationships built over last 26 years have been mutually beneficial and I am proud to state that I have met many like – minded individuals who have made me cherish and enjoy my professional journey.
Although meeting like-minded people is extremely important in building solid relationships, even in absence of that if you are consistent in your behavior – you may be able to convert ‘opposites’ into ‘likeminded’ individuals.
One should strive to be good, invest time and energy and you shall reap the benefits of strong lasting relationships. Wish you all happiness for all times!